Language in Use 197-198
This unit is concerned with the ways in which language is used to establish
the degree of intimacy in relationships merely through the names -we use for
people known to us. It focuses upon the terms which we use to name members
of our family, and what we come to understand by words like 'brother', 'uncle'
or 'cousin' because we learn them in the context of our own family, and use
them to define particular relationships.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[1] The aim of this session is to show the class how the pattern of relationships in families can vary and how language is exploited to record the differences. Ask each member of the class to draw his own family tree, starting with 'self'. He should write down, for each relative, both the word which formally names the relationship and the term of address which he himself uses in speaking face-to-face with that person. (It should be noted that there are cases where the lack of a name is, or may be, significant, as in the case of a mother-in-law.) He should also put a ring round those members of his family with whom he is in daily contact.
[2] In this session, the class should explore some of the implications
of the naming which they have observed in session [1]. The following examples
suggest the kind of thing which is likely to arise:
(a) any changes in the mode of address which children use to their parents
(b) differences between what a parent calls another relative in speaking to
her child and what she uses to the relative's face
(c) differences in naming a close relative who is not well liked by the family
(d) naming of individuals who are not members of the family as though they were
(e) differences caused by frequency of contact.
[3] In this session, the class go on to explore what certain relationships
entail. What a person considers a 'brother' or 'uncle' to be is partly a question
of what rights and obligations go with that status within his own family. Ask
the class to go back to the family tree they worked out in [1] and decide how
key members of the family are expected to behave over questions like: telling
younger members of the family what to do; visiting the home; arriving uninvited
and 'or unannounced- helping themselves to food and drink; helping with household
chores unasked; being asked to do such a chore; giving presents; being expected
on major occasions like a wedding, barmitzvah or funeral. In discussion,
build tip on the board a picture of what kinds of rights and obligations go
with what kind of status within the family. Consider such points as:
(a) what kinds of variations are there?
(b) what broad similiarities?
(c) are there any major differences of family expectations?
(d) what kinds of rights and obligations are common to close members of families,
what to more distant, and how do those match the way
of speaking adopted in each instance?
This unit can be particularly valuable where the class includes individuals from cultures other than our own. It enables all the class to see that what we mean by a 'family' depends on who we are and where we come from.