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Back to Theme H: Language in Individual Relationships


Language in Use 211-212

One aspect of all relationships is the way in which we use language to indicate to other people how distant from them we want to be. That is, language is used to control the degree of formality or intimacy allowable between individuals in a particular relationship. In this sense, it is a crucial feature of those relationships which involve matters of consultation or advice or admonition. The aim of the unit is to explore what happens when two people meet over a problem and one of them is required to exercise, in some sense or other, control over its outcome. It encourages pupils to see themselves as adults and to experiment with ways of speaking as yet unfamiliar to them.
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[1] Working in small groups, the class should prepare short sketches which present an interview between two people meeting in a professional relationship. The following suggestions may be useful: headmaster and parent; almoner and hospital patient; youth employment officer and school-leaver; admissions officer with F.E. student; personnel officer with employee; policeman/woman with witness/suspect; traffic warden with motorist; probation officer with client.

[2] In this session, the sketches should be performed. The discussion should focus upon the relationship set up between the participants. Points to include are
(a) the success with which one party to the relationship finds words for the kind of distancing which the situation
    requires
(b) the particular patterns of words and phrases which immediately, establish distance, like mode of address
(c) the part played by intonation-can the same words and phrases imply quite different distance merely by altering the     pattern of intonation?
(d) do the sketches suggest too formal a tone for many of the situations chosen?

[3] Having explored the nature of settings in which the necessary degree of formality is apparent, the class should now prepare sketches designed to explore a more difficult case. Suitable situations include:
(a) headmaster trying to get parents to acknowledge truth about son/daughter
(b) almoner trying to explain something to patient who finds it difficult I to understand
(c) youth employment officer trying to suit a boy or girl who does not know what he or she wants to do
(d) personnel officer dismissing somebody for unpunctuality
(e) anyone in an official position who has to say 'no' to someone who thinks he is entitled to what he is asking for.

[4] Performance of sketches in this session should lead to a discussion of the ways available for saying 'no' and for handling difficult or embarrassing situations. Again, the points suggested in session [2] should be considered.

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